Misery
by furubafan74
Summary: Zukaang.  Ozai murdered Zuko, and Aang has to deal with the loss of his love.  Oneshot.  No ship/gay bashing please.  Don't like, don't read.  Mentions suicide and boy/boy kissing.


Aang stared bleakly at the simple headstone. It had been over a year since that bastard Ozai had murdered Zuko. Aang hadn't been able to touch the stone once. Maybe someday he would be. Maybe someday he would forget how warm Zuko's skin was, how smooth. Maybe someday thinking of him wouldn't feel like someone had poured boiling tar over his heart. God, how he missed Zuko. It felt like shards of broken glass drove deep into his heart with every beat.

Zuko had held on for a week on life support. Aang and Iroh hadn't left his side once that whole week, praying, hoping that he would somehow pull through, knowing that he wouldn't. The beating had just been too severe. Zuko wasn't able to recover this time.

It was Aang's fault Zuko was dead. All his. If he hadn't kissed Zuko in front of his house, where Ozai could see them, he wouldn't have died. But it was too late to change the past. Too late to do anything but regret his decision, to wonder what would have happened if he had chosen something different. Tears slid down his cheeks, falling unhindered into the soil covering his love. He shook his head. No. His love wasn't in this grave. Nothing was in this grave but a broken, rotting body. His love was free, was happy, was somewhere better. It was the ones he'd left behind who were suffering.

Sokka and Katara had moved on quickly. They'd never been all that close to Zuko, not really. Toph had been closer to him, had mourned longer. But she'd moved on, too. Ozai had never loved Zuko, hadn't mourned him at all. Of course not. Ursa was dead and gone, killed by cancer when Zuko was six. Only Iroh and Aang had truly loved him, were still mourning him. Poor Iroh. First he lost his only child in the Gulf War, now his nephew, who was more like a son to him, had been stolen from him. Aang didn't blame him for trying to drown his sorrows in whiskey.

Iroh was the only reason he still held on. The only reason he just didn't give up, and hope to be with his Zuko soon. Iroh needed him. Aang was the only one he really had left. Iroh and Toph were close, but Aang was closer to Iroh than she was. He knew what Zuko had meant to Aang, and what Aang had meant to Zuko. He loved Aang for that. Iroh couldn't lose Aang, too.

Ozai had been arrested, of course, after Zuko's death. He'd been charged with Second Degree Murder. And, of course, he'd hired an expensive lawyer. An expensive lawyer who'd gotten the bastard off, completely scot-free. "The jury finds the defendant, Ozai Ohasi, not guilty of all charges." Those words would haunt Aang forever. The prosecutor was stunned. The audience was stunned. The media was stunned. Ozai was exultant. So was his fancy lawyer. Iroh had started to sob quietly. Aang hadn't blamed him, had only barely held his own tears in, understanding that he had to be strong enough for both of them.

"I'm so sorry, Zuko. But the bastard got off. Acquitted of all charges. Damned if I know how, as much evidence as there was against him. I guess it's one of the perks of being filthy rich, huh?" Aang slumped, still kneeling in front of Zuko's headstone. He had to leave soon, get back to Iroh. He'd left Iroh alone after the verdict, so that he could come tell Zuko the bad news. He didn't care if talking to his dead boyfriend made people think he was insane. It made him feel a tiny bit better. Just a tiny bit. "Iroh would have come, but…" But he needed time to mourn, time to be alone. "He'll come visit you soon, though. I know he will." It was late spring. Maybe he would plant some flowers here soon. Pansies and Celosias, Zuko's favorites. Aang stood up to leave, not bothering to brush the dirt from the knees of his suit. He'd get it later, after it had dried. It would be easier than. "I have to go now, Zuko. I love you. I'll always love you, and I'll be back soon."

He had loved Zuko from the first time they'd met, in foster care. Zuko's face was still bandaged from Ozai throwing acid in his face. He'd been thirteen, Aang nine. But their ages didn't matter, had never mattered. They were best friends by the end of the day. They had whispered secrets to each other instead of sleeping, had comforted each other when they were upset or had had nightmares. It had been horrible when they'd been separated, taken to separate homes. Aang had eventually been adopted by a man named Gyatso. Zuko had been sent back to live with Ozai, even though Iroh had tried to adopt him. They hadn't seen each other for three years after that. When they met again, Aang had been delighted to learn that Zuko not only remembered him, but that he still thought of him as his best friend. His feelings for Aang had deepened over the next two years, until one day, he confessed that he loved him. Aang had been on Cloud Nine, had said it back, and had shyly kissed him. God, how he wished he hadn't. That had been the kiss that Ozai had witnessed, that had led to his beautiful love's death.

Aang heard the gunshot as he walked up the walkway towards Iroh's house. He knew what it meant without even opening the door. The acquittal had been the final straw for Iroh's endurance. He never should have left him alone. Now Iroh was dead, and it was Aang's fault, just like the fact that Zuko was dead. He forced himself to open the door. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe someone had broken in, maybe Ozai had decided to come over and rub salt on the wounds. Aang hoped that was the case. It wasn't. There was no doubt that Iroh was dead, so he went back out onto the porch and sat down to call 911.

Gyatso had died about a month after Zuko, and Aang had lived with Iroh ever since. Now that he'd lost Iroh, and Zuko, and Gyatso, was there really any point in him going on? Someone would have to bury Iroh. After that…it was up in the air. Maybe he'd travel, try to help people. Maybe he'd try to help victims escape from their abusers. Maybe…maybe he'd just give up. Be buried next to Zuko. But first he had to get through Iroh's funeral. He'd see what happened after that.


End file.
